This is tough

It is an exciting journey to focus on my own hearing loss. I have really started to focus on what exactly I can hear or not hear and this is a very tough process.

I have for instance while listening music I have noticed that I can hear that someone is actually singing, but I cannot hear all the consonants. I have probably always know this, but become increasingly aware of this and all the other thing makes is hard to focus on.

The result of all this is that my thoughts are focused on my ability to hear all the time and I sort of feel that all my emotions are just under my skin – ready to burst out. But I do not feel that this is annoying – quite the opposite – I see this as an opportunity to reflect on my observations in a way that makes it possible for me to act on them. This means that I can focus on what I can do in order to hear better in the given situations. In the example with music the solution is simple as you can just fetch some lyrics online and watch them during the song – If I do this I actually feel that I can hear more of the consonants simply because I know that they will be there. In the everyday life it is of course difficult to get subtitles on a phone conversation or what the colleagues say behind their computer screens. But in many situations there are solutions that just need to be used. This could be by asking people to rephrase a sentence or by using technical solutions that provide me with better sound in noisy situations.

But the solution for the problem that occupy my mind mostly at the moment is of course whether or not Cochlear Implant (CI) would be an advantage for me. CI requires a surgery and there are of course many things to consider.

But even though I feel that this is a tough process I do feel very clarified about this process. It sort of feels like a success to notice these problems and at the same time find out that there might be solutions for them.