The biggest decision of my life

Yesterday I probably made one of my biggest decissions of my life when I said yes to receiving Cochlear Implant (CI). I have as described in a range of my previous post concideret CI for a while. But throughout all of this process I have been in doubt if my hearing loss and my discrimination loss was bad enough in order to be a CI-candidate. It has been a rough process as I have been focussing a lot on my biggest problem – my handicap.

On this blog I have spent a lot time on putting words to the many thoughts I have had and described what my problem is in relation to hearing with normal hearing aids. It has been very exciting to do it but it has also given me a lot to put words on my thoughts and how I experience my hearing loss. In general my considerations have been focused on the fact that my ability to hear have gradually become worse and that I experience many social situations where I have to disconnect because I would have to concentrate 300 % just follow a conversation. The consequence is that I to some extent feel isolated without any possibility to do anything about it. I have therefore been convinced for a short time that in some respects I should be able to benefit from CI – but I had no idea how much I would be able to benefit from it.

It has been thrilling to consider this option. In one point of view I have focused on how distressing it is to have such a big hearing loss. But in another point of view I have focused on a solution that might be able to help me. In the last couple of weeks it has been the doubt that occupied my mind. I thought it would be horrific if I was told that CI was not a solution for me. If that would be the conclusion I would be in a situation where I would have to accept all the bad things that I have noticed about my hearing loss and that would be unbearable considering how much I have focused on it. But that was luckily not what happened – what a relief – I feel that a lot of tensions was released when I got this clarification 🙂

I am very excited about the next period. At the moment there are some practical things that need to be addressed before I am going to the surgery – but it appears that it might be a fast process that could result in a surgery in december or january. Right now I cannot really relate to the process about getting a surgery in full narcosis followed by 3-5 weeks of being totally deaf. It is also very difficult to relate to how different I will experience hearing with CI – but nevertheless I have a very positive view on it and I definitly believe that I am going towards a much brighter future.

What is Cochlear Implant?

CI is as the name indicates an implant. A small electrode is surgically implanted into the cochlear from where it will send electrical impulses directly into the hearing nerve. Apart from the implant that is surgically implanted into the ear you will also wear an external device – the processor – which in many ways is similar to a hearing aid. But I will not spend a lot time on explaining what a CI is here. If you want to know more you could start with the following short Youtube video – and then you can find many other materials by searching for “Cochlear Implant” on Google.