Towards the goal

It has been a while since I last posted on this blog – It is not because I have not had something to write about – I just haven’t had the time and energy to do it. There are multiple reasons for this – First of all I have have been busy at work for quite some time and secondly I have considered a lot aspects in relation to my decision about getting Cochlear Implant (CI) and therefore I haven’t even been able to use my spare time for relaxing in the way I usually do. The result of all this is that feel tired, stressed and very stiff in my neck 😉

The things that have occupied my mind most is questions that I cannot really get accurate answers for. It is questions like:

  • When will I get my surgery?
  • How will I experience the process?
  • How will it be like to be deaf for 3-5 weeks?
  • How will the rehabilitation be like?
  • How soon will I be able to return to a “normal” life?
  • How much better will I be able to hear, and what will that mean to me?

It is some quite “big” questions, and when I have all these questions while being very busy at work it is not strange that I feel stressed. The result of this is that I feel like I never have any breaks as my brain is “on” in all the hours that I am awake. But I also try to get my brain to disconnect by watching tv and music videos, walking  in the nature or reading a book. But I do not want to put it entirely into the background as I also feel that it is important to consider all the things that makes me excited, curious, concerned or nervous. It is therefore very difficult for me to avoid feeling stressed, worn out, tired and empty for energy – I am looking very much forward to my christmas holidays 🙂

All the examinations are done

Since my last post on this blog I have had my CAT scan and a vestibular examination (balance test). Both of these tests went fine and I have gotten an appointment for a follow-up conversation on January 2nd where I expect to get more information about when my surgery will be.

My CAT scan was done on a monday evening – they have expanded openinghours – there is not much to say about the examination. I was there 25 minutes before my appointment and was asked to come in immediately even though I had not even told them that I had arrived. I just lay on a bed that automatically moved into the scanner. The scan only took 2 minuts. I received the result of the scan in a letter some days later. In my letter they just wrote that the scan showed normal conditions.

The vestibular examination was done at my personal ENT. In the first part of the examination I had to do some balance related examinations. This could for instance be like standing and holding the balance with closed eyes, or by shaking the head while the doctor noticed how quickly my eyes calmed afterwards. In the second part of the examination they put warm and cold water into my ears. This is done while using stop-clock to notice the time it takes to become dizzy because of the temperature changes in the ear. The test is don on both ears and they compare the times achieved on all four tests (2x warm and 2x cold water). In three of the tests the time was 2.10 and in the last test it was 2.05 – a difference of 5 seconds. My ENT told me that up till 20 seconds are considered to be normal – In other words – there was nothing wrong with my balance. The reason why they do this examination is that they want to know how the balance is before the surgery – if there is problems with my balance after the surgery they would therefore be able to judge if it was caused by an already existing issue.

The next step?

The next step is that I should have a conversation with a consultant on thursday. This consultant will be the person in charge of my rehabilitation. At this meeting I will get a lot information about the rehabilitation process and what it will be like to get CI. Apart from the rehabilitation process it is possible – if I want it – to get this consultant to go to my work and tell about the process and what it means to have CI. I am very much looking forward to this meeting.

After the christmas vacation I will have to talk with an ENT at the audiology department on January 2nd. According to the letter I received this will be a follow-up conversation. I guess this meeting will be a last conversation and clarification before the surgery can be done. I also expect to get more information about when the surgery will be on this meeting.

But when will my surgery be?

This will have to be guesses. As far as I can see it will be in the beginning of the new year. It fits with the messages I have received about the process but I really cannot know if it will be in January or February. But now it gets a little fun…

My mom recently attended a course where all participants received a personal horoscope. When it was my moms turn the one who made the horoscope said that she could see that my mom had children and that for one of the children were something big going on where the decision was made. As far as she could see it was something that would mean big changes for this child. It is very unbelievable how this astrologist were able to provide such a precise description without even know me or my mother.

The astrologist said that when she looked details it looked like the decision which was made would be executed around January 14.

So who knows – maybe I will get a surgery on January 14 or shortly after?

Merry Christmas 🙂